Music. Food. Puns.
The combination of these became a trademark in my professional culinary life. Finding the appropriate musical pun or reference for a new menu item or daily special was an obsession. It continues to be even after retiring from pro cooking. I have amassed a large collection of music-inspired recipes over the years and have decided it’s time to publish a few – kind of a Music Recipes For The Masses project. Like if Pitchfork and Bon Appetit has a punk rock kid.
I welcome any and all suggestions, feedback, and requests. YES! If you send me a music food pun and I’ll make a suitable recipe. You can drop me a line HERE.
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A RIBWICH NAMED CHAR SUI
Seitan char sui ribs, gochugaru pickles, pickled red onion, spicy mustard sauce, and mayo on a sub roll
WAP (WET A** PASTA)
Fried chickwheat (or chicken), tomato sauce. mozzarella, asiago, and croutons
SAY CAP’N! SAY NUGGS!
Chickwheat nuggets coated in Cap’n Crunch with spicy berry syrup
SINCE REUBEN GONE
Seitan brisket, pickled red cabbage, Back In The USSR dressing, and swiss on grilled rye
LOADED MASHED POTATO TIME TACOS
Mashed potatoes, seitan (or bacon), cheddar, scallions, pickle slaw, and salsa in fried corn tortillas
NEITHER FISH NOR FLESH
Batter-fried tofu, twice-fried fries, pickle slaw, and remoulade
SWEET LEAF
Southern-style sweet tea
PASTABILLY
Spaghetti, sausage or hot dogs, Cincinnati chili, cheddar cheese, scallions, potato roll
THE YARDBIRD
Chickwheat cutlet, Sweet Lightnin’ BBQ sauce, and apple fennel slaw on a pretzel roll
FRIED EGG I’M IN LOVE
One over-easy egg, seitan chorizo, muenster cheese, mayo, and hot sauce on a pretzel roll
CHOPBOKKI
Seitan chopped cheese meets tteokbokki
DINNER IN THE TTEOKBOKKI OF LIFE
Rice cakes, red onion, cabbage, and radish in a spicy gochujang sauce
I’M A CREPE WITH A WEINER
Scallion pancake, gochujang seitan hot dog, and gochujang maple mustard sauce
POUTINE ON THE RITZ
Buffalo chickwheat, twice-fried fries, Buffalo sauce, and mozzarella
BIBIMMMMBOP
Bulgogi seitan, cucumber kimchi, shiitake mushrooms, carrots, spinach, fried egg, and bibimbap sauce over rice
SOY DIVISION TACOS
Batter-fried tofu, pickle slaw, sambal cashew sauce, and scallions on flour tortillas
THE SALAD OF DIJON & YOLKO
Egg, pimento cheese, dijon mustard, and scallions on whole wheat
GREAT WHITE BUFFALO SALAD
Buffalo roasted cauliflower salad and romaine lettuce wrapped in a flour tortilla
LEMON GLOW
Lemon syrup, seltzer, crushed ice
SMELLS LIKE BEAN SPIRIT
Pickle slaw, black bean & corn taco salad, tortilla strips, cheddar, Rock Candy jalapenos, and scallions
GETTIN’ BUDAE JJIGAE WIT IT
Seitan jjajang sausage, seitan spam, seitan spam bacon, tofu, rice cakes, ramen noodles, kimchi, mushrooms, and onions in a spicy gochujang broth
I’M A MAGIC SPAM
Seitan SPAM two ways – regular & cured SPAM bacon
MIGAS STIR FRY
Scrambled eggs, fried corn tortillas, fried rice, cheddar cheese, pickled jalapenos, and bacon bits
DO YOU LIKE BEAN ENCHILADAS
Refried black beans, onion, mozzarella cheese, radish, and enchilada sauce in corn tortillas
DAYS OF FUTURE PASTRAMI
Seitan in a pastrami style
BREAKFAST IN AMERICA
Fried seitan brisket, hashbrowns, scrambled eggs, Rock Candy Jalapenos, and cheddar cheese in a flour tortilla
SEITAN SAID DANCE
An introduction to seitan sausages
THE SUNTOUCHER
Gochujang fried tofu, bok choy slaw, and pineapple gochujang sauce on a sub roll
TOFU FIGHTERS
Crispy pan-fried tofu with gochujang sauce
NUGGET ME NOTS
Chickwheat nuggets
RED HOT CHILI OIL
Sichuan style chili oil
THE B.T.O.
Seitan brisket, tomato, pickled red onions, mozzarella, Sweet Lightnin’ BBQ sauce, hot sauce, & Aleppo pepper on a toasted bagel
TAKIN’ CARE OF BRISKET
Guinness braised Cowboy Spice rubbed Guinness BBQ sauce glazed smoked seitan
CAULIFLOWER SOUL
Cauliflower Buffalo Tots with ranch dressing, blue cheese, and scallions
I GOT FIVE SPICE ON IT
Five spice powder
KICK OUT THE JAMS
Strawberry basil jam
TACOIN’ TURKEY MELT
Turkey & mushroom patty, yellow mustard, mayo, yellow cheddar, scallions, and tomato on flour tortillas
CARROT ON WAYWARD BUN
Grilled maple chipotle carrots, grilled onions, pickle slaw, & mustard on potato rolls
I NEED A GYRO FRITTATA
Frittata topped with Greek spiced seitan, tomatoes, red onion, cucumber, tzatziki, and feta
GIVE CHICKPEAS A CHANCE
Chickpea salad & baby spinach on toasted sourdough
CHEESED TO MEAT ME
Pickle brined BBQ chicken cutlet, Sweet Lighnin’ sauce, pickle slaw, & muenster cheese on grilled sourdough
FIRESTARTER NOODLES
Chili crisp noodles, fried peanuts, and bok choy slaw
CINNAMON STYX
Cinnamon infused reposado tequila
HELL’S BALLS
Sweet Lighnin’ seitan balls, mozzarella, Asiago, Aleppo pepper, basil, and sea salt on a sub roll
BLACK COFFEE
Ron Colon Salvadoreno coffee rum, cold brew coffee, & turbinado simple syrup
JAR OF SCALLIONS
A better way to store your scallions
STRAWBERRY LETTER 23
Strawberry hibiscus soda syrup
CHAMOY COMO VA
Frozen banana, peanuts, raisins, Tajin, and Chamoy sauce
ICE ‘N’ CHEESY
Pimento cheese ice cream sandwiches on Ritz crackers
SWEET LIGHTNIN’
Brown sugar jalapeno BBQ sauce
RICE ‘N’ CHEESY
Fried rice with a tomato mushroom cheese sauce baked with mozzarella
KUNG PAO CHEESES
Three cheese stovetop mac & cheese topped with kung pao cauliflower
PIMENTO AT WORK POTATO SKINS
Twice-baked potato skins, pimento cheese, fried seitan (or bacon or ham), sour cream, pickled red onions, and scallions
MOCHA JAVA JIVE PORK
Mocha Java Jive roast pork, Maple Espresso sauce, caramelized onions & mushrooms, and mozzarella on a garlic bread roll
MINI SKIRT TACOS
Coffee marinated skirt steak, Java Jive Rub, grilled peppers & onions, and scallions on mini flour tortillas
RETURN OF THE CHILI MAC
Mac & cheese, seitan & black bean chili, and scallions
BORN SLOPPY TACOS
Turkey mushroom sloppy joe, Pepper jack cheese, and vinegar slaw on a flour tortilla
PANIC IN DETROIT
Seitan sausage, seitan coney sauce, white onion, and yellow mustard on a potato roll
EDAM I WISH I WAS YOUR SLIDER
A guide to making deep-fried Edam cheese and then using it to make sliders
CUBAN BEANHAVIOR
Cuban black beans, corn salsa, and muenster cheese on a Cuban roll (or sub roll)
CURRY ON WAYWARD SPUDS (THERE’LL BE CHEESE WHEN YOU ARE DONE)
Twice fried chips, curry sauce, & fried Edam cheese on a slider roll
THE BAD DECISION
Beef hot dog, pepper jack, fried egg, & chili crisp on a potato roll
KILLING MISO SOFTLY WITH HIS SOUP
Gochujang seitan, white miso, baby bok choy, scallions, enoki mushrooms, and carrots
SGT. PEPPERJACK’S LONELY CHAR DOG WITH HAM
Hot dog, pepper jack crisp, black forest ham, and yellow mustard
DOGS OF LUST
Three regional hot dogs given the vegan treatment: Detroit Coney, Chicago, and New York
THEIR SEITANIC MAJESTIES REQUEST CHILI
Chorizo style seitan, black beans, guajillo chile paste, peppers, and onions in a tomato sauce
I’M A FUNGI (MELT!)
Marinated Portobello mushrooms, Horsey Sauce, sweet onion, scallions, red pepper, poblano pepper, jalapeno, and provolone on a sub roll
GOBBLE GOBBLE HEY!
Turkey mushroom burger, Swiss cheese, remoulade, and tomato onion jamp on grilled sourdough
(EVEN) MORE CUBAN THAN CUBAN
Mojo pork, honey ham, swiss cheese, bread & butter pickles, and Dijon mustard on grilled country bread
CAN’T CURRY LOVE
Red curry paste, coconut milk, onion, peppers, cauliflower, broccoli, and mushroom served over rice
ROGUE BAGEL
Hasselback bagel, garlic butter, mozzarella
DEVIL INSIDE LASAGNA
Chorizo spiced seitan, mushrooms, mozzarella, ricotta, asiago, tomato sauce, and lasagna noodles
MOJO THUNDER BREAKFAST TACOS
Crispy mojo pork, fried potatoes, Rock Candy jalapenos, pepper jack cheese, and scrambled egg on a flour tortilla
SEOUL FOOD TOAST
Egg, cabbage, onion, carrot, scallion, American cheese, sugar, sweet chili sauce, and mayo on toasted bread
LOS CHICHARRONS
Deep-fried oven-dried pork skin with Buffalo spice
GOT MY MOJO WORKING
Pork shoulder, garlic, orange, grapefruit, lime, and chipotle
DILL COMMUNICATION
Spicy dill pickles made with fresh dill, garlic, and Chile D’Arbol
LIFE IS A MINESTRONE
Zucchini, carrots, potatoes, Cannelini beans, baby spinach, Napa cabbage, chard, and Ditalini pasta
EGG DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT & SOUR SOUP
Hot & sour soup with Baby Bella & Shittake mushrooms, Napa cabbage, tofu, and egg ribbons
EDAMAME SAID KNOCK YOU OUT
Edamame guacamole, Mayak egg, furikake seasoning, and turmeric ginger salt pickle on toasted sourdough
KETAMINE FOR BREAKFAST
Beef hot dog, pimento cheese, scrambled eggs and crushed Takis on a potato bun
CHEESES OF SUBURBIA
Shell pasta, béchamel, extra sharp cheddar, muenster, mozzarella
BLACK BEAN CAUGHT STEALING CHILI
Black beans, peppers, onions, tomato, garlic, chipotle, cheddar, sour cream, scallions, Aleppo pepper and Fritos
CORN THIS WAY CHOWDER
Corn chowder, cashew crema, scallions, and Aleppo pepper
BLANK FLANK TACOS
Java Jive flank steak, Diablo sauce, grilled peppers and onion, queso fresco or feta on a flour tortilla
SWEET CHILI O’ MINE
Less sugar – more spice – better than a certain “RedHot” product
RICK SZECHUAN
Rick would forget about that Mulan sauce if he had this recipe
HOT BLOODED (CHICKEN & SEA)
A quick Cajun rub perfect for poultry and fish
TACO SPICE
Better than anything you’ll buy in a store for the perfect Midwest Taco Night
BUFFALO SPICE
A spice mix perfect for all your Buffalo-style cooking needs (especially great on cauliflower and chicken)
THE MOBY D
Black bean burger, Muenster cheese, napa cabbage pickle slaw, bread & butter pickles, mayo, & mustard on a potato roll
FREESTYLER BREAD PUDDING (SAVORY MIX)
Bread (challah, brioche, whole wheat), egg, milk, corn, peppers, scallions, and Pepper Jack Cheese
STRAY KATSU STRUT
Chicken katsu, pickle slaw, and tonkatsu sauce on crustless brioche bread
KUNG PAO FIGHTING
Cauliflower, peppers, scallions, peanuts, and chiles over rice
THE EGG SPAM
Buffalo Spice grilled SPAM, fried egg, cheese, and sambal mayo on a bulkie roll
DIRTY RICE BOY
Hot Blooded Chicken, Kinda Like Dirty Rice, BBQ sauce, Rock Candy Jalapeno & scallion on a sub roll
MAMA, I JUST GRILLED A SPAM
Buffalo Spice grilled SPAM, grilled pineapple, spicy mustard, and cheddar on a bulkie roll
HOT LEGS
Chicken leg quarters, Hot Leg spice, & sweet chili sauce
FENNEL OF LOVE
Fennel, apple, green cabbage, carrot, vinegar slaw dressing
LET IT BEEF
Java Jive dusted Roast Beef, grilled fennel, grilled onion, and Horsey Sauce on a bulkie roll
GUAC ON
Avocado, red onion, jalapeno, tomato, and lime juice
SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVILED EGGS
Hard-boiled egg, Pimento cheese, mayo, pickled jalapeno, paprika
BURRITO SUAVE
Chili Con Tofu, rice, cheddar, pico de gallo, nacho whiz, and sour cream in a flour tortilla
MORE CUBAN THAN CUBAN
Mojo roast pork, honey ham, Genoa salami, swiss cheese, bread & butter pickles, carrot pickles, & mustard sauce on a pressed roll
HEY SLOPPY JOE (WHERE YOU GOIN’ WITH THAT BUN IN YOUR HAND?)
Turkey sloppy joe, red pepper, poblano, jalapeno, onions, yellow mustard, cashew whiz, pickled red cabbage & a fried egg on a bulkie roll
NOTHING COMPARES 2 BLUE
Buffalo chicken salad, Gorgonzola dressing, Gorgonzola crumbles, carrot pickles, & baby spinach on a toasted bulkie roll
CAULIFLOWER DREAMIN’
Buffalo roasted cauliflower, Buffalo sauce, blue cheese dressing, carrot pickles, and Aleppo pepper on a soft sub roll
MR. BRIGHTSIDE DOG
Hot dog, bun, no toppings
HANOI ROCKS HOT DOG
All beef hot dog, Sambal mayo, pickled vegetables, cucumber, jalapeno, scallions
PEACE OF MIND DOG
All beef hot dog, baked beans, scallions, and yellow mustard on a potato roll
BUFFALO STANCE DOG
All beef hot dog, blue cheese dressing, carrot pickles and cayenne hot sauce on a toasted bun
SWEET OBLIVION DOG
All beef hot dog, cream cheese, fried onions & sauerkraut, pickled jalapenos, yellow mustard, hot sauce
WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE DOG
All beef hot dog, fried potatoes, peppers & onions, spicy mustard
NO SLEEP ‘TIL BROOKLYN DOG
All beef hot dog, NY onion sauce, sauerkraut, and spicy brown mustard
DON’T YOU KNOW I’M DORILOCO?
Doritos Nacho Cheese, jalapeno pickle slaw, carrot pickles, cauliflower taco crumbles, tajin peanuts, sour gummy bears, Valentina hot sauce, Chamoy sauce, lime juice, Tajin, sea salt
UNDERGROUND DOG
All beef hot dog, chicken chili, jalapeno pickle slaw, yellow mustard
DOUBLE DOWN CHILI
Chicken and peppers in a Pasilla chile-spiked Coffee & Stout sauce with Colby Jack, sour cream, and scallions
THE CHEESY LOVER
Three cheese grilled cheese (Swiss, Muenster, & Mozzarella) with Roasted Tomato Soup
MEXICAN RADIO DOG
All beef hot dog, carrot pickles, Rock Candy Jalapenos, lime sour cream, Chamoy, Valentina hot sauce, Cotija cheese, and Tajin seasoning
ROCK CANDY JALAPENOS
Red and green jalapenos, sweet onion, Bread & Butter pickle brine
BIG IN JAPAN DOG
Sauteed cabbage and onion, Okonomiyaki sauce, Kinda Like Kewpie mayo, red pickled ginger, and nori strips
DETROIT ROCK CITY CONEY ISLAND
Grilled all-beef hot dog, Detroit Coney Island meat sauce, diced white onions and yellow mustard on a soft hot dog bun
GOING BACK TO CAULI HOT POCKETS
Buffalo cauliflower, tomato pesto, mozzarella, and Ranch dressing in a puff pastry
MOTHER & CHILD REUNION TACOS
Frambled eggs, chicken fajita, pickled jalapenos and sour cream on flour tortillas
PASTAMAN VIBRATION
Tri-color rotini, red pepper, orange pepper, yellow pepper, sun-dried tomato and scallions in a red wine vinaigrette topped with sea salt, Aleppo pepper & Gorgonzola
ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK
All beef hot dog, lime slaw, Thai chile relish, peanut sauce, and sambal mayo
BOWLING FOR CHICKEN SOUP
Homemade chicken stock, chicken, red pepper, carrot, celery, onions, red potatoes, and Ro-Tel tomatoes
CAULIFLOWER LOVE TORTILLA CUPS
Cauliflower mushroom taco crumbles, roasted tomatillo salsa, queso fresco, lime sour cream, Aleppo pepper flakes
PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR CHUTNEY
All beef hot dog, pear chutney, potato hot dog bun
BANG BANG MAC
Shell pasta, Cheddar, Muenster, Mozzarella, Bang Bang Sauce, broccoli
CHEESE CHEESE ME
Two smashed beef burgers, American cheese, bread & butter pickles, yellow mustard and mayo on a potato roll
TRY A LITTLE CHICKEN TENDERNESS
Pretzel coated baked chicken tenders with Szechuan sauce
PARMA CHAMELEON
Parmesan crusted chicken breast, marinara, and mozzarella on a Portuguese roll
ZENYATTA FRITTATA
Eggs, muenster, grilled asparagus, peppers, and red onion served with sourdough toast
GRILLING IN THE NAME
Asparagus, red pepper, poblano, cremini mushroom, red onion, cheddar and lime sour cream on a flour tortilla
ORANGE CRUSH
Cold-brewed orange syrup and seltzer
ORANGE IS THE NEW SHERBET
Fresh squeezed orange juice, orange zest, whole milk, heavy cream, and vanilla
I BROCCOLI MELT WITH YOU
Charred broccoli, mozzarella, pecorino, lemon juice, Aleppo pepper and basil on whole grain flatbread
CRUNCHY GRANOLA SWEET
Rolled oats, almonds, pepitas, sunflower seeds, maple syrup, brown sugar, cinnamon, clove, ginger, vanilla
GOOEY PEANUT BUTTER VIBE
Peanut butter chocolate chip cookies
AIN’T TOO PROUD TO EGG
Fried eggs, chorizo, Colby jack cheese, pickled jalapenos and hot sauce on an onion bagel
SHE DRIVES ME CAPRESE
Fresh mozzarella, plum tomato, fresh basil, balsamic vinegar, and olive oil on toasted sourdough
J. QUESA DILLA
Chorizo, chicken, peppers, and cheese on flour tortillas
STEW ARE YOU
Mushrooms, carrots, onions, celery, and peas in a vegetable stock gravy
SWEET BIRD OF TRUTH (TACO REMIX)
Candied Jalapeno BBQ chicken and Jalapeno Pickle Slaw on a corn tortilla
RICE RICE BABY
Fried rice with onions, peppers, corn, peas, and scallions
LIME RIKKI DON’T LOSE THAT NUMBER
Cold-brewed Lime Ginger syrup, Hudson Standard Ginger bitters, seltzer
BEAT ON THE BRATWURST
Grilled bratwurst, Tomatillo Chow, spicy mustard, & hot sauce on a garlic bread roll
MAKES ME WANNA STOUP
Black beans, peppers, onions, corn, and scallions
RUBY TACO
Ruby Soho chicken, Tomatillo Chow and queso fresco on flour tortillas
SWEET BIRD OF TRUTH
Sweet BBQ pulled chicken and Pickle Slaw on a Portuguese roll
AMERICAN CHOP SUEY
Pasta, onion, peppers, tomato, garlic, pecorino
CHEESES BUILT MY HOTROD
Roasted jalapeno cream cheese, gouda & pickled jalapeno on sourdough
NACHO NACHO MAN
Chili, chips, Colby jack & cheddar cheese, pickled jalapenos, lime sour cream, scallions
CHILI DON’T BE A HERO
Tofu, black beans, guajillo chili paste, peppers, onions, sour cream, cheddar, scallions, pickled jalapeno
YOU CAN TUNE A PIANO, BUT YOU CAN’T TUNA MELT
Tuna salad, BBQ potato chips, provolone & pecorino on grilled sourdough bread
MONKEY BREAD MUFFIN IN YOUR SOUL
Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls baked into Mini Monkey Bread Muffins
DONUTS MAKE MY BROWN EYES BLUE
Cinnamon roll dough, cinnamon sugar
TACO ‘BOUT LE POISSON
Pan-fried tilapia, fresh pepper salsa, remoulade, flour tortilla
TOASTFACE KILLAH
Pimento cheese deviled eggs, tomato onion jam, wilted spinach, Aleppo pepper, and pink sea salt on toast
HEY MAN NICE SHOT
Fresh ginger juice, juniper syrup, Fee Brothers orange bitters
SORREL NOT SORREL
Sorrel, Cawston Press Ginger Beer
HUMMUSAPIEN
Roasted red pepper hummus, baby spinach, green apple, red onion, plum tomato, carrot ribbons and Aleppo pepper flakes on sourdough
MY ORZO WEIGHS A TON
Orzo pasta, peppers, scallions, sundried tomato, feta & red wine vinaigrette
UNDERNEATH THE APPLE TREE
Cawston Press Cloudy Apple & Bar Keep Fennel Bitters
WE DON’T NEED ANOTHER GYRO
Greek seasoned seitan, tzatziki, feta, tomato, red onion, and baby spinach on flatbread
LORD OF THE FRIES
Oven fries, black bean chili, pepper jack, sour cream, scallions, Aleppo pepper flakes & hot sauce
SORREL SEEMS TO BE THE HARDEST WORD
Sorrel, ginger bitters, clove cocktail spice
THAI YOUR MOTHER DOWN
Thai roasted cauliflower, pickled vegetables, cucumber, peanut sauce and Aleppo pepper flakes on a bulkie roll
DON’T YOU FORGET A BANH MI
Crispy BBQ tofu, charred broccoli, pickled vegetables & BBQ kewpie mayo on a whole grain sub roll
OPEN SESAME NOODLES
Spaghetti, peanut sauce, Sambal Olek, scallions
BORN ON THE BAYOU
Blackened Cajun catfish, pickled slaw and remoulade on grilled sourdough
SECRET ENCHANTED BROCCOLI TOTS
Broccoli, scallions & cheddar cheese in tot form
MORNING GLORY
Frambled eggs, Not Really Refried Black Beans, Sweet chili sauce, tomato & scallion on a sub roll
THIS BREAD IS BANANAS
a simple banana bread even a non-baker can make
QUINOA TIFAH
Quinoa balls, marinara sauce & mozzarella on a sub roll
EMPEROR TOMATO KETCHUP
Fresh tomato and caramelized onion jam
THE DARK SIDE OF THE SHROOM
Crimini Sloppy Joe, Vinegar Slaw, Mustard & Pickles on a bulkie roll