Ketamine For Breakfast

“If you’re bad to me, I will like you more”

Theme song by Kae Tempest “Ketamine For Breakfast” from Let Them Eat Chaos
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DEAR KAE TEMPEST
(a half-ass poem for a half-ass recipe)

You deserve a better recipe than this one.

Your work
Bold, brilliant, beautiful
Old-school poetry slam
New school hip-hop.
You deserve a better recipe than this one.

Though to be honest
The lyric inspiration is
Pretty fucking accurate
When it comes to this shit recipe
That you truly don’t deserve.

And yes, this does taste
Like Ketamine For Breakfast
And the effects of both
Are pretty similar
The vague feeling you’re killing yourself
But for some reason
You don’t care.

You deserved a better recipe than this.

KETAMINE FOR BREAKFAST
Beef hot dog, pub cheese, hot honey bacon, scrambled eggs, & crushed Takis on a brioche bun
Make 2 sandwiches

2 beef hot dogs
2 eggs
Pub cheese (see recipe below)
3 slices of thick-cut bacon
Hot honey
Takis (or Doritos if you live in a Takis-free zone)
2 brioche buns
Butter

You want to do all of your prep before starting to cook so you can take full advantage of the bacon fat in the skillet.

Open the hot dog buns & spread a generous amount of pub cheese inside each bun.
Chop the bacon into strips.
Split the hot dogs lengthwise, leaving a hinge, & press flat.
Scramble the eggs in a bowl.
Crush the Takis.

Put the bacon in a cold skillet. Place the skillet over medium heat. Cook until the fat renders & the strips are crisp. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the strips to a bowl leaving the bacon fat in the skillet. Drizzle hot honey over the bacon strips & toss to coat.

Place the hot dogs, cut side down, in the bacon fat. Use a grill press or spatula to press the dogs down. Cook until crispy, about 2-3 minutes. Flip and cook until the outside is crispy. Transfer to a paper towel-lined plate. Don’t worry if they curl up. They’ll fit in the bun when the time comes!

Finally, pour the scrambled egg into the bacon fat. Scramble fry the eggs until most of the bacon fat is gone & the eggs are firm & lightly browned.

Place a dog in each bun. Top with some scrambled eggs. Sprinkle the bacon strips. Finish with the crushed Takis. Add hot sauce if that’s your thing.

Pub Cheese

2oz IPA or lager at room temp – allow the beer to go flat
4oz ounces of sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
3oz cream cheese
1/2 teaspoon ground mustard
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
3/4 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon hot sauce

Add the ingredients to a food processor. Blend to a smooth consistency. Everything should be well mixed. Store the cheese in an airtight container in the fridge. It’s even better after a day of resting.