The One Where Frank Makes a Sandwich Based On A Vintage Ad
This ugly delicious monstrosity happens when one gets distracted while researching a new sandwich zine and making a vintage recipe.
Specifically THIS vintage recipe.
I was researching vintage sandwich ads and design to find a vibe for the Cheesed To Meat You zine when I came across this 7-UP ad. While it may seem odd to have a sandwich “recipe” in a soda ad, it seemed to be a thing in the ’50s and ’60s. I’m guessing the idea was pairing or serving suggestions, but honestly, most (like this) are simply too bizarre to be taken seriously. Maybe it was the marketing department having a laugh.
For instance, this is ostensibly a layered hot dog “sandwich.” Yes, I know a hot dog IS a sandwich but this is a Hot Dog Sandwich Inception where the usual philosophical debate over “between sliced bread” is removed from the equation even as that bread is a bun. It’s almost as if some time-traveling Mad Man from the ’50s or ’60s anticipated the Great Hot Dog Schism and wanted to add a culinary Stonehenge to contemplate.
The “recipe” in the ad was less a set of instructions and more rambling ad copy. It first requires one to cut a hot dog bun into four slices. Go ahead and take a swing at that. I’ll wait. Yeah – it’s pretty fricking impossible. I chose to use two buns and trim one to make the inner slices.
Next, it suggests cutting two hot dogs into three lengthwise slices. Again, unless you have sushi master-level knives and knife skills, you are better off butterflying three dogs. From there, according to the original recipe, it’s pickle relish, baked beans, mustard, and cheese all layered and, for some reason, served cold or you can warm it in the oven. Serve with a sparkling 7-UP that “always goes so good with good eating.”
So, of course, I needed to know if there was truth in advertising and whether this was, in fact, “good eating”. The answer likely will not surprise you.
As is obvious from both the intro photo and the cross-section photo, this is NOT a pretty Instagram-worthy creation. It was also basically impossible to pick up and eat. I wanted this to be better as I truly do love the “meal in a sandwich” idea. This is, at its core, a cookout on a couple of buns. It’s EXACTLY the culinary result you’d expect from a recipe created by Madison Avenue.
THE STACKWICH
(from a vintage 7-UP ad)
Hot dogs, pickles, baked beans, coleslaw, yellow mustard, and Swiss cheese stacked on hot dog buns
3 hot dogs, cut in half lengthwise2 buns
Pickles or pickle relish
Baked Beans
Pickle slaw (see recipe below)
Mustard
Swiss cheese
The original recipe says to “cut one bun into 4 slices” which I found is impossible. A better choice is using two buns and trimming two of the pieces for the center buns.
Butterfly the hot dogs by slicing them lengthwise & spreading them open. Cook them in a skillet cut side down, until charred. Flip & cook until the other side is charred.
To assemble The Stackwich
Start with the bottom bun and spread a layer of mustard. Place a hot dog on the mustard and top with a few pickles or pickle relish. Place a center bun slice on top of the pickles. Place another dog on the bun and top with baked beans. Place the next center bun slice on the baked beans. Place the final dog on the bun. Drizzle with a bit of mustard then top with slaw & Swiss cheese. Place the top bun on top.
Good luck eating this monster. It’s messy and honestly, you will ultimately regret this foray into the ontology of sandwiches and its relation to the Hot Dog Schism.
Pickle Slaw
Makes about a quart
10 ounces green cabbage, shredded fine
1 medium carrot, shredded
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
2 tablespoons pickle brine
1 teaspoon white sugar
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
In a medium bowl, toss cabbage & carrots together. In a small bowl, combine vinegar, pickle juice, sugar, garlic powder, salt, and pepper and whisk until thoroughly combined. Pour dressing slaw mix and toss to coat. Place in an airtight container and let rest in the refrigerator for at least an hour before using it.