Betcha Got A Chickwheat On The Side

“Show you another trick, I know you got a chick on the side.”

Theme song by The Pointer Sisters “How Long” from Steppin’
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I feel sorry for anyone who only knows The Pointer Sisters from their ’80s recordings. Sure, those albums are fun in a shiny pop way, but you’re missing out on the genius of their ’70s releases. Those albums are rooted in jazz, soul, and blues. Their version of “Black Coffee” is brilliant. The empowerment funk of “Yes We Can Can” resurfaced during the Obama era as a rally song. It stands as perhaps my favorite Pointer Sisters song, followed closely by the theme song here. Similar in style with a more Southern funk vibe, killer strings, and a stellar soul-gospel performance from the Sisters. Trust me, if all you’ve ever heard is ’80s Pointer Sisters, go and dig deep into their ’70s catalog. You can thank me later.

When I started my deep dive into seitan worship, it was mostly to find a vegetarian hot dog alternative. As time passed, I realized I enjoyed seitan as a meat replacement, but I wanted something to replace chicken. A bit of research led me to Avocado And Ales‘ chickwheat shreds recipe. I stick fairly close to their recipe though I think vegetable stock works better than aquafaba and using MSG amps the chicken flavor. I actually never make this as shreds because the cutlets can be shredded if needed for a recipe. I prefer having whole cutlets or sausages for quick sandwiches or just snacking.

In case you need a few recipes for how to use your chickwheat, here’s the Music & Food Chickwheat Menu: 

Some Like It Hot
Pretzel Logic
It’s a Hoisin
Danger! High Voltage Wings
Buffalo Cajun Combo
W.A.P. (Wet Ass Pasta)
Say Cap’n! Say Nuggs!
The Yardbird
Poutine On The Ritz
Shawarma Police
Nugget Me Nots

BETCHA GOT A CHICKWHEAT ON THE SIDE
An introduction to chickwheat cutlets & sausage

2 cups cold chickpeas
1 cup vegetable stock or seltzer
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons white miso paste
2 tablespoons nutritional yeast
1 tablespoon onion powder
2 teaspoons garlic powder
1 teaspoon MSG (or 1 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt)
1 3/4 cup vital wheat gluten

Blend everything except the vital wheat gluten in a food processor until completely smooth. Combine with vital wheat gluten in a bowl, mixing completely, and let rest for 15 minutes. 

Split the dough in half. Place a dough ball in the food processor and let it knead until the dough is warm, stretchy, and smooth about 6 minutes. Repeat with the other ball.

For cutlets
Split the two balls into thirds and form into cutlets. I generally make 5-ounce cutlets which will yield 6-7 total.

For sausage
Cut 4-ounce pieces from the kneaded dough balls. Roll into a sausage shape. 

To steam
Wrap the cutlets or sausages tightly in foil and steam for 1 hour. Let them cool for 10 minutes then unwrap. Cool completely and store them in an airtight container in the fridge overnight before using them.

ITALIAN CHICKWHEAT
Makes 4 cutlets

4 chickwheat cutlets
1 tablespoon dried oregano
1 tablespoon dried basil
1/2 tablespoon dried rosemary
1/2 tablespoon dried thyme
1/2 tablespoon red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
Olive oil

In a small bowl, combine all of the spices and mix thoroughly. Rub the cutlets with olive oil and sprinkle the seasoning mix over each side. Allow the seasoned cutlets to rest at room temperature for 15 minutes before cooking. Store any leftover seasoning in an airtight container. 

HOISIN CHICKWHEAT
Makes 4 cutlets

4 chickwheat cutlets
2/3 cup hoisin
2 tablespoons sambal oelek
2 tablespoons sesame oil
4 tablespoons soy sauce
4 tablespoons rice vinegar

Combine hoisin, sambal oelek, sesame oil, soy sauce, and rice vinegar in a medium bowl. Whisk to thoroughly combine. Place the chickwheat in a ziplock bag and pour the marinade over the cutlets. Toss to coat. Place in the fridge and marinate for at least 4 hours, turning occasionally, before cooking. Reserve the marinade to glaze the cutlets while cooking.

GOCHUJANG CHICKWHEAT
Makes 4 cutlets

4 chickwheat cutlets
4 tablespoons gochujang
2 teaspoons gochugaru
3 teaspoons rice wine vinegar
2 teaspoons soy sauce
3 teaspoons brown sugar
3 teaspoons onion powder
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
4 cloves garlic, grated
1” piece of ginger, grated
4 tablespoons water

Combine the marinade ingredients in a medium bowl. Whisk to thoroughly combine. Place the chickwheat in a ziplock bag and pour the marinade over the cutlets. Toss to coat. Place in the fridge and marinate for at least 4 hours, turning occasionally, before cooking. Reserve the marinade to glaze the cutlets while cooking.