“Catch sugar fits every time that he sees Chips Ahoy, double chocolate chunk”
Inspired by MF DOOM “Kookies” from MM..FOOD
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This is part of the Cooking The Album project for MF DOOM’s MM..FOOD, and one of three dessert titles on the album.
I need a L, it’s hard to drink without it
And could use some kookies but trying not to think about it
And here we are again with another low point lyrically. A track about masturbation, no matter how many solid rhymes, is still a pointless track. As I said with Hoe Cakes, DOOM is better than this but conceptually and lyrically. “Kookie” would have been better left on the cutting room floor.
And here comes the REALLY awkward transition…
This is a chocolate chip cookie recipe my wife got from a cool-as-hell grandma she used to quilt with. Yep, I’m using Grandma’s cookie recipe for a masturbation rap track. I’m going to burn in hell.
This is possibly my favorite cookie recipe. It’s fairly easy to make, does not require any special equipment, and makes a fuck ton of cookies. The addition of the ground oatmeal (kind of like an oatmeal flour) helps keep the cookies chewy and adds a nice oaty texture. Yes, that is a double chocolate hit with chips and Hershey bars. Trust me, Grandma knew what she was doing!
While I state you could use this dough after only an hour’s rest in the fridge, trust me and plan ahead. This dough truly benefits from overnight refrigeration. The next day, let it rest on the counter for about 10 minutes before rolling into balls. Don’t try to go “big cookie” on these. They work best in the 2-3 0unce scoop/ball area. When done baking, they may look undercooked. That’s fine, they will firm up as they rest on the pan out of the oven.
Chocolate chip cookies from an old school grandma
Makes a couple of dozen
2 1/2 cups old fashioned oatmeal, processed in a blender
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup of sugar
2 eggs, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
2 cups flour
8 ounces butter
12 ounces of chocolate chips
1 4 ounces Hershey bar, broken into small pieces
Preheat oven to 375°F
Measure oatmeal and blend to a fine powder. In an electric mixer or by hand, cream butter and both sugars until light and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla and stir to combine. Mix in flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, baking soda. Combine thoroughly but do not over mix. Add Chocolate Chips and Hersey bar pieces and mix to incorporate into the dough.
Wrap dough in plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator overnight. If you cannot wait that long, then at least one hour in the refrigerator.
Roll into about 3 oz balls. Place dough ball 2 inches apart on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake for 14 minutes. Cool on the pan for 10 minutes then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Store in an airtight container or cookie jar.
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